Losing a loved one is a heartache that lingers, shaping every moment. Grief fills your mind with unrelenting thoughts which for many continue through the night, preventing rest. You lie awake, consumed by memories, or wake repeatedly, exhausted but unable to sleep. This is the harsh reality of grief-related insomnia, a cycle that deepens the pain and leaves you feeling more fragile.
Grief is unique to each person. For some, it softens over time; for others, it becomes an unrelenting storm, disrupting rest and renewal. Recognising the link between grief and sleep is key to healing and restoring balance. We cover everything you need about grief, insomnia, and steps to reclaim your peace and sleep.
What Is Grief?
Grief is a natural emotional response to loss. While it affects everyone differently, most people experience five recognised stages:
- Disbelief
- Bargaining
- Anger
- Depression
- Acceptance
Over time, the intensity of grief often diminishes. For many individuals, the most intense emotional reactions may subside within six months, helping them adapt to life after the loss. However, grief is a highly individual process, and there is no set timeline—some may require more time to adjust fully.
When Does Grief Transition into Complicated Grief?
For 10% to 15% of grieving people, grief does not follow the typical pattern of gradual improvement. Instead, it remains intense and persistent, interfering with daily functioning. This condition, known as complicated grief, prolonged grief disorder, or traumatic grief and requires special attention.
Signs of Complicated Grief:
- Recurrent and overwhelming emotional pain
- Constant preoccupation with the deceased
- Intense longing or yearning for the lost person
- Anger or resentment surrounding the death
- Avoidance of places, objects, or people associated with the loss
- Feeling detached from others or struggling with trust
- Persistent feelings of loneliness and isolation
- Experiencing numbness or emotional emptiness
- Guilt about surviving when their loved one did not
- A deep sense of losing part of one’s identity
While complicated grief is distinct from conditions like depression and anxiety, it can occur alongside post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other mental health challenges.
Who Is at Risk of Complicated Grief?
Deep, overwhelming sadness following the loss of a loved one can spiral into complicated grief. Those who lose a spouse, child, or parent often feel this pain most acutely. Other challenges—such as aging, financial struggles, or ongoing emotional hardship—can intensify this suffering.
A heartbreaking symptom of this grief is insomnia—the inability to fall asleep, stay asleep, or find any proper rest makes an already painful journey even harder. While some may only suffer brief bouts of sleeplessness, for others, the insomnia persists, occurring at least three times a week for three months or more, signaling a more serious struggle.
Grief impacts emotions and physical health, so it is essential to understand its effects on the body and seek appropriate support when necessary.
What Does Grief Do to Your Body?
As mentioned, grief affects individuals differently, impacting emotional well-being, cognitive function, physical health, and social interactions. Here’s an easy-to-understand breakdown
1. Emotional Responses
- Sadness and deep sorrow
- Anger, frustration, or resentment
- Guilt or regret over unresolved matters
- Anxiety and nervousness
- A sense of loneliness or isolation
- Helplessness and lack of motivation
- Shock and disbelief
- A yearning for the lost person
- In some cases, relief, particularly if the loss followed a long illness
2. Cognitive Changes
- Confusion or feeling mentally foggy
- Difficulty concentrating on daily tasks
- Persistent thoughts about the deceased
- Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
- Intrusive thoughts or vivid dreams, including nightmares
3. Physical and Behavioural Responses
- Muscle tightness and physical tension
- Fatigue and low energy due to disrupted sleep
- Changes in appetite—either overeating or loss of interest in food
- Restlessness and inability to relax
- Increased social withdrawal or avoidance of social interactions
- Crying spells and emotional outbursts
- Avoidance of places, people, or objects associated with the loss
- Clinging to sentimental items connected to the loved one
4. Spiritual and Philosophical Impact
Grief can also lead to existential reflection, causing individuals to question their faith, beliefs, or the meaning of life. Some may seek spiritual guidance, while others might experience a crisis of faith, particularly if the loss feels unfair or senseless.
Since grief affects both mind and body, understanding these effects can help individuals seek the necessary support and develop coping mechanisms to improve sleep and overall well-being.
When insomnia persists, it may contribute to physical and mental health challenges, making it crucial to address sleep disruptions as part of the healing process.
What Does Insomnia Do to the Body?
While short-term sleep loss can cause fatigue and difficulty concentrating, long-term insomnia is associated with more serious health risks.
Short-Term Effects of Insomnia
- Reduced ability to focus and retain information
- Impaired decision-making and problem-solving skills
- Increased stress and irritability
- Heightened emotional reactivity
- Increased risk of accidents due to slower reaction times
Long-Term Health Risks of Insomnia
Depression and Anxiety
Sleep disturbances are both a symptom and a contributor to depression. Improving sleep quality can significantly alleviate depressive symptoms.
Type 2 Diabetes
Poor sleep is linked to higher haemoglobin A1c levels, an indicator of blood sugar control. Some studies suggest restoring sleep may be more effective than dietary changes in managing blood sugar levels.
Heart Disease
People with sleep disorders, such as obstructive sleep apnoea, are at greater risk of developing cardiovascular conditions, including:
- High blood pressure (hypertension)
- Stroke
- Irregular heartbeat (arrhythmia)
- Coronary artery disease
Obesity and Metabolism Changes
Insomnia can disrupt the body’s metabolism, making weight gain more likely. Studies indicate insufficient sleep is linked to a higher body mass index (BMI), especially in children.
Given these risks, addressing insomnia, especially when it is linked to grief, is essential for maintaining long-term health. Having the proper treatment can help in coping with grief and restoring overall well-being.
Treatments for Grief and Related Sleep Issues
We take a patient-centred, multidisciplinary approach to addressing the emotional and physiological effects of grief-related sleep disturbances. Our in-depth knowledge in sleep health ensures a comprehensive treatment plan tailored to individual needs.
1. Comprehensive Sleep and Health Assessment
Before recommending treatment, we conduct a thorough assessment, which may include:
- Sleep Studies (Polysomnography): To rule out underlying sleep disorders such as sleep apnoea, which may worsen during grief.
- Medical and Psychological Evaluation: Identifying physical or emotional factors contributing to disrupted sleep, including stress, anxiety, and depression.
- Home Sleep Monitoring: Tracking sleep patterns in real-life conditions to provide accurate diagnostics.
This holistic approach ensures that all aspects of physical and emotional health are considered when developing an effective sleep management plan.
2. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I)
For those struggling with persistent sleep issues, CBT-I is a scientifically proven, first-line therapy that helps regulate sleep patterns. This treatment includes:
- Sleep Restriction Therapy: Adjusting sleep and wake times to optimise rest.
- Stimulus Control: Training the brain to associate the bed with sleep rather than stress or wakefulness.
- Relaxation Techniques: Guided breathing, mindfulness, and progressive muscle relaxation to calm the nervous system before sleep.
CBT-I is a non-medication approach that effectively treats insomnia linked to grief by addressing negative sleep associations and behaviours.
3. Sleep Hygiene and Lifestyle Adjustments
Manse Medical emphasises evidence-based lifestyle modifications to improve sleep naturally:
- Consistent Sleep-Wake Schedule: Maintaining regular sleep patterns stabilises the body’s circadian rhythm.
- Optimising the Sleep Environment: A dark, cool, and quiet bedroom enhances sleep quality.
- Limiting Caffeine and Screens Before Bed: Reducing stimulants and blue light exposure in the evening promotes melatonin production.
These strategies, when personalised, can significantly reduce sleep disruptions caused by emotional distress.
4. Medical and Pharmacological Support
For severe cases of grief-related sleep disturbances, medical interventions may be necessary. Our treatments include:
- Short-Term Sleep Aids: If non-medication approaches are insufficient, a doctor may prescribe a temporary sleep aid under close supervision.
- Treatment for Sleep Apnoea and Other Disorders: If a sleep disorder is diagnosed, targeted interventions such as CPAP therapy or positional therapy may be recommended.
- Melatonin and Herbal Sleep Aids: Safe, evidence-based alternatives may be explored where appropriate.
All treatments are carefully tailored to avoid dependency and ensure long-term sleep health.
5. Psychological Support and Grief Counselling
Since emotional distress plays a significant role in sleep disturbances, we collaborate with mental health professionals to provide:
- Grief Counselling and Support Groups: Talking through emotions in a structured setting can help process loss and reduce sleep-disrupting stress.
- Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR): Meditation and mindfulness exercises proven to calm the nervous system and improve sleep.
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for Grief: A specialised form of therapy that helps individuals cope with loss-related distress.
How to Help Someone Coping with Grief
If you know someone struggling with grief and sleep loss, offering emotional and practical support can make a significant difference.
- Offer practical help: Losing a loved one can be overwhelming, and daily tasks may feel challenging to manage. To ease some of their burden, offer to assist with funeral arrangements, meal preparation, errands, or housework.
- Provide emotional support Listening with compassion and reassurance can be incredibly helpful. Encourage them to share memories and express their emotions without fear of judgment.
- Be a source of information: Grief can be accompanied by confusion, especially in financial or medical circumstances. If appropriate, offer guidance or help them find the resources they need.
- Encourage regular conversations: While acknowledging their grief is essential, talking about everyday topics can also be beneficial. Regular conversations can bring a sense of normalcy and help ease their emotional burden.
- Check regularly: Grief does not disappear overnight. Continue offering support in the weeks and months ahead, letting them know they are not alone.
Taking small steps toward healing can make a significant difference. Over time, sleep improves, and emotional well-being becomes easier to manage.
When to Seek Medical Help for Grief-Related Insomnia
While grief takes time to process, persistent sleep issues can lead to serious health concerns. If sleep disturbances last for months and interfere with daily life, it may be time to seek professional help.
At Manse Medical, we understand how grief can affect sleep and overall health. Our specialists can provide medical support, including sleep assessments and personalised treatment plans. Sometimes, a sleep study may be recommended to understand sleep patterns better.
If you or someone you know is struggling with sleep during grief, contact us for expert guidance. Take the first step toward better sleep.
FAQs
Q1 How long does insomnia last during grief?
Grief-related insomnia can last from a few weeks to several months, depending on the person’s emotional state and coping methods. Creating a bedtime routine, reducing stress, and seeking emotional support can help. If sleep issues continue for months, it may be best to consult a healthcare professional.
Q2 Is it normal to sleep all the time when grieving?
Yes, sleeping more than usual is common when grieving. Emotional stress and sadness can cause fatigue. However, too much sleep may indicate depression. Staying active, maintaining a routine, and connecting with others can help. If excessive sleep lasts for months, professional support may be necessary.
Q3 How do you treat trauma-induced insomnia?
Trauma-induced insomnia can be managed with relaxation techniques, therapy, and a healthy bedtime routine. Reducing screen time, deep breathing exercises, and cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) may help. In severe cases, a doctor may suggest short-term medication or specialised treatment to improve sleep and reduce trauma-related stress.
